2knomeis2hateme

2knomeis2hateme @ 2006-06-17T21:06:00

2006-06-18T01:10:24Z

its sad that im still so sad
i need a singing partner
i need a drummer (sorry im not so big on having tony play 4 me anymore)
perhaps my partner in singing will be able to drum?? that would be oh so lovely..
im still feeling very envious but i finally drew the line between online and the real world so im not acting so craZy and irrational. but damn i hate envy. and as amazing as she is (nothing against her personally) i am so envious of her that i cannot stand her. i like ambers plan. shh! its a secret. god shes such a whore (not amber the other one..) yeah.

in lunch line

2006-06-07T19:11:51Z

Eddy: *takes my empty tray*
Me: *puts 3 packets of relish on tray—inside joke*
Eddy: *grabs a packet of lunch stuff-napkin, fork, spoon, straw*
Me: here, you’ll need a knife to eat your relish with *puts on tray*
Eddy: *grabs straw*
Me: dude you already got one in that pack *puts back*
Eddy: oh goes up to register
Lunch lady (ll): you don’t have anything!?
Eddy: I have this relish
Ll:go, you can have it
Eddy: oh can I have some more then?
Ll: how much more?
Eddy: as much as I can get
Ll: no, get outta here
Eddy: what if I pay you, I have a dime
Ll: well ok I’ll let you have 2 more packets for a dime
Eddy: no way; that’s kinda expensive for relish
Ll: well I could’ve just made you pay for all of it
:-D mucho fun… wish I’d met that kid earlier

*he’s telling me, “babe, I’m sorry but I didn’t mean I liked you just quite like that…” I’m telling you, “babe, I’m sorry but this feeling is real.”*-amber gregory’s esteem cafe

2knomeis2hateme @ 2006-06-05T19:20:00

2006-06-05T23:29:27Z

…freaking out like woah…
I need a sappy girlfriend…
Perhaps amber, she’s a crier…
Yes, I need to cry…
God tomorrow’s so close…
So far away…
Idk what to do…
I think ive driven eddy crazy
Becuz ill come up with one thing
And freak out
Then another thing
And freak out more
And then another thing
And freak out even more
I almost lost it at lunch today when I found out eddy and sarah wont have lunch with me tomorrow.
Im losing it now.
This is too stupid!!

potato (more like soul) famine

2006-06-04T20:59:04Z

“go eat potatoes, why havent you eaten potatoes? Go eat potatoes! Are you not eating them on purpose? Go eat potatoes! Oh and we have to watch a movie” –my mother at 930pm last night.

Devised a plan for Tuesday, a very dumb plan, but it should get e through lunch. And I found a solution to my anxiety… driving (being driven) really really fast… so it almost feels like flying, except not at all.

is it bad if kinda wanna cry??

2knomeis2hateme @ 2006-06-03T16:34:00

2006-06-03T20:39:04Z

Seriously, what a day! So I woke up at 7 am, went to someone’s house, then we all went to rosewood so I could try out for concert choir, which I made, as an alto, of course. But as this conflicts with marching band, I was all bleh cuz I wanna be in it but I wanna be in band too so I wont be able to be in it. Then I learn that capella (the top choir.. capella is the choir equivalent of DPYO) rehearses from 545 on Tuesdays, so I might actually be able to be in it if mcC lets me go 15 minutes early and they let me come 15 minutes late. And my mom is all: woohoo she can sing! So I go over to wright state and try for capella and the guy tells me he really likes me a lot and he hopes he has enough guys to let me in (current members have priority and he might only have enough guys to let current members in). so… lets just hope ! so then I come home to get a bowl of cereal before band and I tell my dad: hey, so I really can sing. (cuz he told me just the other day: you can do anything, except you can’t sing) and he replies: “what? You can sing? You can’t sing! You’re wasting your time..” so.. yeah then we drive over to bring the people back to their house then I go to band, which was… fun, for mini camp! Though I don’t particularly enjoy never getting to sit and standing at attention, it was nice playign music, seeing my old people (except maybe joe who tried to kill me 3 times, twice with a stand and once by kidnapping me---ha jk hes still awesome), and meeting all the new people. I’m excited. And the show doesn’t sound too bad for a u2 show.. so what the hell, bring it!
Love.

2knomeis2hateme @ 2006-06-02T17:02:00

2006-06-02T21:06:56Z

So I talked to eddy..because he seemed like a good source.. deff. Made me feel mucho beter, if it wasn’t for him I’d prolly totally freak n go crazy. He deff. Is one amazing kid. Too bad I didn’t meet hi earlier---I guess I didn’t want to.,. he looked too emo for me.. OOPS!! So wrong! I’m still so afraid for Tuesday, though, and perhaps Monday but Monday would be easy enough.. it’s Tuesday I’m really scared of.. idk where I’m going to sit at lunch; it would be to awkward to sit at their table now.. maybe.. but yeah so eddy told me to give both of them to tony he said the one thing was cute and that “tony will likethe note” uh… well,I guess I can only hope so.. :-/ and then he was the delivery boy.. uh.. thanks kid..
Anyway yeah.. I guess Ill just go now.. must make tape for band…
Love.

no more...

2006-06-01T20:24:05Z

so it was funny today at lunch sarah was showing us how much weight she'd lostso she pulled her pants away from her and shouts to eddy: hey look, so eddy looks and she's all: dont look down my pants. so eddy's like ok? she's all: im showing you how much weight i lost and youre looking down my pants. eddy:well when you dont specify what im supposed to be looking at just tell me to look as you're pulling your pants, what do you expect? nicole: face it, he just wanted to see whats down your pants.
ha. should've so beenthere!
got my painting back in art, got 100% looks amazing, of course...
cried, just a bit, made joe worry about me the whole afternoon-OOPS!! so most deffinately did not mean to do that.. just had a tanya moment.. went to joe for a hug.. began to cry... oops, so very sorry!!
im sad.. i will see tony on tuesday and then no more. and no moretony until tuesday.. which sux. he hasnt even given me any of his contact info.. so me n him are dead for the summer.. which means dead in the fall cu he'll forget me :-(..
i'm gonna tell him on tuesday.. i'll give him anote(MAYBE!!) unless i get contact info in which case i'll wait (MAYBE!! maybe not). im talking about what joe wastalkingabout when he said "you should" uhm... yeah. well you'll find out eventually... ha, who are you? no one reads my journal.. :-D
love.

:-o!!!! (in a good way!)

2006-05-26T22:29:02Z

guess who's back, back again... Tony's back! Tell a FRIEND!!
guess who's back, back again... Brandon's back. tell a friend.
that would be kochensparger and kamaka (haha they're both K's!! AMAZED!!)
je suis vraiment bien!!
and i'm beginning to advance mucho fasto (ha) in music. amber inspired me so much that i wrote 2 songs in a day just after seeing her, and i began to take apart my other song b/cuz i realized how shitty it was n now im writing another bunch of songs. i'm mainly having lyrical troubles right now---which is good... it means musically i'm progressing well. i'm trying to write a song called To Only Need You. i've got the chorus MUSIC and like, 4 words (to only need you-lol) worked out... so uhm.. yeah.. OH AND tony's gonna give me (As in let keep.. like.. present! woohoo!) some drumsticks on tuesday!! and i'll use them at the percussion clinic that night! i'm oh so excited.
speaking of getting new stuff... amber steph and i were painting our nails in band today (oh im gonna miss them so much! they're leaving tuesday after 4th period--forever!!!! it kinda sux having senior friends sometimes...) and amber liked the color on me so much that she just gave it to me... so i was like: well yay!
i drew a person last night, for the first time in FOREVER!!! (art has kept me busy otherwise...like with learning to pain landscapes!!! *exciting*) i drew tony.. and well, it turned out ok, but it still wasn't so great.. i'm not good at drawing guys. plus i didn't really put TOO much effort into it.. so i showed it to his dad and he's like: who's that? me: idk, him: you dont know?? *tony walks over* *mr. k looks up* mr. k: oh... is it him? i see it now!!! (me thinks: either i suck or he dont know what his son looks like... im guessing the first one.. :-( ) kinda reminds me of the time getting on the bus, carrying a paper maché sun mask.. bus driver: no suns allowed on this bus! me: oh it's not a sun, it's jesus! him (completely serious): OH! oh i see it now!! im sorry i must've looked at it from the wrong angle.. (me: wow!)
5-year-old pictures are so much fun to draw!! with sharpies!! :-)
so someone's gonna come over tomorrow night n help me make a chair out of aquafina bottles (*picnic* tony: you should make a sign, and say it's for charity.. me: haha that's clever *tony confused* me: wait... did you actually think about what you said or..? him: what? me: im making a chair.. its for CHAIR-ity.. him: oh haha thats funny me:*sigh*)
mr revis brought a puppy in to math class today.. i was happy :-)
and that's it.
much, much love.
ps-tony is a veg (well that's old news) n his best friend is a veg (that's also old news) and they're both on the peta2 street team and the second tony (not the tony i know-the other one), his aunt is the vp of peta... THATS TO GODDAMN EXCITING!!!!! :-D

2knomeis2hateme @ 2006-05-08T16:32:00

2006-05-08T20:45:56Z

so... j'ai la frusse!! mais non, pas la frusse..
just a wee bit cautious. too aware of the past.
again i want to move.. though i'm fine now.
now.
but.. what is now?
ah blah.
entering the void again.
i need to devote a time in each day when i can just center myself.
i think it'll help me.
by the time i am 30 i will have:
played a show (as in.. guitar, piano),
made a CD (not necessarily signed),
gotten a doctors in business and gov't/law, working on PhD.,
opened a veggie café,
met someone who is totally awesome, totally into design, and can totally sew and opened a boutique with her,
completed a novel (published?? maybe but it's not on the list),
ran for house

je suis stupide

2006-04-26T21:41:42Z

I do, honestly, realize how dumb this is, and how dumb I am. But what can I do if the only way I talk to people is if they talk to me first or if I feel a vibe from them? What can I do if I happen to get such a strong vibe from someone while I’m on vacation? In Hawai’i? With my parents around? With such a strong vibe, I don’t think I would have normally passed up the opportunity to say something, but this was my last day in Hawai’i. My parents were right there next to me… I was deprived of my chance. And now I cry, because the vibe was so amazing... It was as if I saw Johnny Depp.. and well… I’d probably cry if I ever saw Johnny Depp. Because Johnny Depp is amazing… But this kid… I doubt I’ll ever see him again. When he walked off that bus, it was like he took a part of me with him. I feel like a bit of me is missing, ever since I noticed him… and didn’t get the chance to say anything… so I go online to try and find the school he goes to. But… how stupid am I? How will his school help me with anything? It’s not like I would email them and ask them who he is… I’m not a stalker… I just want to meet him so bad. So bad it makes me cry, and I can’t sleep at night. All I think about is what could have happened if we met. And damn… I feel so fucking stupid. And I guess I must be… xlovex

it is time

2006-04-10T20:10:06Z

ny chtoje, ya siju zdes', tol'ko zakonchila yborky delat'. slyshau rysskuu muziku. i vspominau o andree...
je pense que c'est le temp pour lui écrir.
but how do i get his addy?
ja mogy pozvonit' mashe no...
nous nous parlons pas. c'est une problemme.
ahh.. i believe i am going crazy.. music=reminder=andrei
spring break=brandon, maybe?? oh god that would be so amazing..
and the ever haunting thoughts of *last entry*

no plans of ever joining or starting a band again...
i am planning of recording some of my stuff.
it's funny, the night i thought of that.. the next morning amber did that.. she quit rasing havoc + is doing her own stuff now.. with jenny as a harmony singer.
i would dub, tired of reliance.
too bad i didn't record when it first entered my mind-now i can't remember how it goes.

*for once a cosmo horoscope was right.. coincidence, i know.

--*--
and then she called my name
she said baby you look so grand
tonight
(yeah that's right)
I just want to stay with you right now
i don't ever want to leave you now
--*--
hey...
hey, take my hand
let's dance
i want this beat to last forever
pull me close
to you
and let me know tonight will never end
--*--
Look at me,
do you ever think baout what you see?
am i just another girl to you?
is that why you do those things you do?
--*--
"haunting me"
--*--
tonight is better...
--*--
how do i explain...
--*--

2knomeis2hateme @ 2006-03-22T18:55:00

2006-03-22T23:55:32Z

Beaucoup de temps est allé.. et je n'ai pas écrit une chose.
But I did come up with a brilliant idea..
Я буду писать ра трех языках. (I will write in 3 diff. languages… )
Ma raison pour cette folie? Je m’ennuie..
и некоторые вещи не для всех ушэй.

So I had to spend 24 hours with Michael ausserer this past weekend, going to congress… was a bit scared at first, no surprise.. especially after having to sit with him for so long in math class in 8th grade. But I think he’s beginning to grow up. Hes still Michael.. but hes not as annoying as he was.. thank god.
But the thing is…

Je pense que tu m'aimes... et l'idée me fait le sourire. ou si elle étaient quelqu'un d'autre… Mais parce que c'est toi, je suis ainsi effrayé. Maintenant, si c'était Brandon, il n'y aurait pas aucune question. juste ecstasy sur ma partie. Mais c'est toi ! Et je ne sais pas même s'il est vrai. alors encore. les conseils de votre père. cependant que nous l'avons écarté comme si il était fou. Ou comment tu as accepté d'aller obtenez-moi de la pâte dentifrice et essayé de me traîner avec toi. De l'autre côté, tu es allé l'autre manière ainsi j'ai dû descendre de toute façon. Ou comment tu as annoncé comment grand mon discours avait lieu, bien qu'il vraiment ait sucé... de l'autre côté, peut-être c'était sarcasme. ou peut-être vous avez mûri légèrement.. bien qu’il reste quelque chose au sujet de toi que des marques que je prie de différer. L'une ou l'autre manière, avec notre passé, je ne peux m'empêcher de regarder vers le bas sur toi. Tu es un si petit gosse. Je suis très très désolé. Yes, I’m very, very sorry.
Но после этого также что-то еще.
il y a un endroit que je suis un peu effrayé pour aller à.
So I don’t think I will.

So for all you Christians out there, merry Christmas…I'll just have a happy new year.

2005-12-24T22:58:47Z

So bored, though I do have stuff to do. I’ve yet to read the new harry potter book (yes, it’s taking me that long… but hey, all honors classes, band, AND art.. takes up most of your life actually)
And speaking of art (up above) I was supposed to go pick up a manikin so I could start/work on the project over break but.. I FORGOT!!! Which sucks so bad.. cuz it always takes me forever to get an art project done.

Im pretty pissed off right now actually.
I can’t send a single fucking email w/o my cousin reading it.. so shes all “fine, don’t show me.. I’ll just log into his account and read it there.” Ahh!! I hate evesdroppers!!!
And im also kinda mad that although she was told not to use any kind of IM (cuz im not allowed to and no one else in this house is either) she “secretly” does anyway.. of course, all you gotta do is look at all the visited sites and VOILA! Im not stupid. So im guessing it was her that got a virus onto our comp.. b/cuz… day1:cousin uses messenger, day2:comp starts acting weird day3:cousin still uses IM and comp is still weird but IDC at the moment b/cuz finally im gonna be allowed to get AIM or w/e day4:mom comes home with email about how this virus is being spread thru IM systems, msn aol yahoo icq etc, so im not allowed to use IM after all. Weird look on cousins face, inquiring questions from cousin. Day5:cousin not on IM (but then again we haven’t had time yet) comp still fucked up.
And so much fucking drama in this house

But besides that… im having fun. Met someone new a couple days ago (some guy my cousin is obsessed with –the one who I try to email but she keeps reading it all.. AHH!!) whos not all uptight (despite all my cousin says.. I try to joke around and she tells me :are you stupid don’t send him that itll freak him out – ends up in the end shes wrong and im just pissy cuz shes reading everything I write)
And yeah.. I know this was long.

So for all you Christians out there, merry Christmas…
I’ll just have a happy new year.

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-12-09T17:42:00

2005-12-09T22:43:11Z

…so wtf, is there no way to post a video on here???????

And just when I care...

2005-12-07T02:42:23Z

No partner for debate.
Can’t go maverick in debate.
NEED TO DEBATE!!!!
Oh and Thomas never answered me..
He said he was gonna email me..
He never emailed me..
Ahh!!!
Oh then there’s Katie..
But besides that...
:-D

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-12-03T17:56:00

2005-12-03T22:57:08Z

Understand now, it’s just sad that it took so long.. sad that it took a dream, and then a couple of restless nights.

I love amber.. we were never really close last year. But this year we became pretty good friends. And its nice 2 see her at equal intervals 3 times a day. I miss Jessica tho.. but at least I get to see her b4 school sometimes. Sux that she moved but w/e. the 3 of us are supposed 2 do something sometime.. maybe a movie tomorrow.. it should be fun..

Sometimes I love being here… dotn ever want to move.. wanna stay here.. with my friends… in the same old place.. but then other times, it would be so nice to move.. and not just to a different house.. but to a different city.. different school. Start over. Haven’t thought that in so long but last night amber told me something and.. I realized… once you fuck up, that’s the way people will keep on remembering you.. there is no second chance in life… unless you move.
That’s why Russia was nice.. for once.

//edit
regret.. maybe, in french.
**his name is...
wow, it's amazing how much i've changed from the person i was last year...

///edit
.damn.
life is funny ..i have the money to have you killed by somebody who has nothing im past bluffing.. *goes off on eminem rant*
no.. life is.. well funny, no.
ah shit.
toby: "i think you're just on crack and you have no clue what you're talking about"
me: "yeah you're probably right"

wasn't i supposed to stop hiding? open up? i did before.. why am i so scared now? so scared to say a single fucking name?? or.. is it because i'm confused. because i start to think that there's only one and the rest are substitutes, so they're not real but then i get confused between who the real one is? or is it becuase i'm afraid to be a hypocrite? or
no, i'm just in denial. maybe
no, i'm just scared.. scared that i'm a loser in everyone's eyes..
no, i got my friends..
goddamnit, this entry is way too long.. edited like.. 3 times or w/e.
actually now im jsut contemplating wether to do it or not. cuz actually its pretty easy for me to just type up a few letters.. so easy.
because if i do, one of 3 things can happen:
1)i get lucky (but that's like.. .00001% chance of happening)
2)i create an aura of awkwardness
3) no one ever sees this so i spent all this time freaking out for nothing but since i put it on here and it was easy enough i start plotting how i'm gonna let it really be known and then ... either 1 or 2, but probably 2.
and i hate awkwardness.
its funny, even when i write it in notes, i make it significantly smaller than anything else.. the name. and its not like i should be ashamed of it.. i'll just end up being like probably every other goddamn chic..
this is where "hopeless" enters mind again.
i need to stop ranting.

-off to finish jessica's note.. though i doubt she'll be of any help..
lets compare.
me.. jessica..
not pretty... pretty
not cool.. cool (actually amazing)
annoying.. not annoying
hated by most.. hated by most guys cuz they cant have her, hated by most chics cuz they want to be her (envy..)
pissy bitch who complains all the time.. pissy bitch who only complains to me all the time
lmfao, at the last 2 really.
no i love her, i like who i am.. *ignores taht moment of being a pissy bitch who complains all the time a few weeks into the school year up until about a week ago.*
i just.. idk.

END OF RANT I PROMISE THIS TIME!!!!!

love.

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-11-02T18:09:00

2005-11-02T23:10:13Z

one) Speechless,

Like a night with no stars,

A sky with no cluds.

Untouched,

Unmoved,

Right where you left me,

Gathering thoughts,

Like a journal of poems,

And a picture frame,

In the corner of an attick,

Gathering dust,

Unwanted,

Forgotten,

Unkown.

Two) 2 swipes of hand

on a foggy window.

to anyone,

it is just a bit of sight,

but a poet, in it,

may find a heart.

Three- Words unspoken,

Might Sometimes the easiest to hear,

add Like the thoughts inside your head

stuff When you see me coming near

to it

later) Easily mistaken

Emotions that you feel

I try hard not to worry

Though it seems the lies are real

Four-unfinished) Randomly quiet,

Don’t care to converse.

Does it necessarily mean

That I’m feeling worse?

See you today,

But do not speak.

Is that just a sign

Showing I’m weak?

Maybe it is,

But I’m not so sure.

Today I am feeling

Something more.

Unnaturally calm,

But deep inside,

I feel, to myself,

I have lied.

Sweet, sweet smile,

A heart full of tears.

Pretend to have courage,

But hold many fears…

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-10-20T20:16:00

2005-10-21T00:19:06Z

i quit.
tomorrow it becomes official.

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-10-19T20:48:00

2005-10-20T00:34:41Z

So in math we’re just sitting there n all of a sudden we hear something kinda like someone’ headfones. So kyle n I are just sitting there tyring to figure out whos linn 2 music n adam is completely oblivious when it occurs to me.. adams bag is alive.. it was funny.
That reminds me of a time last yr when mrs joyner was giving notes n all of a sudden this rly heavy metal song starts playing rly loud n im sitting there thinking “nice music.. but whos stupid enuf to play it I nthe middle of math class??” then it finally occurs to me that it was mine.. yeah..

Another math story.. met the kid sitting next to me that bot me cookies yesterday.. he listens to metal… now I have yet another person to talk to :-)

Then I was waiting 4 taylor today in the hall n I just dosed out so Katie waves at me n I half come back to earth then dose out again then brian goes up to me and starts talking but I don’t really realize it cuz idk where the hell my brain was at that moment. Then I hear my name n it brings me back to the moment n I get all confused cuz everyone is calling for my attention then I notice lex saying “Tanya r u ok? You looked depressed there for a second” and im all “what? Oh no im not I just, shit! I went off! Sorry..” ah.. if uda been there it wuda been funny.

Talked to molly!!! :-) I miss her.. she’s a good friend.. good times.

Besides that..

Tired, frantic, slightly irritated, worried, amused, concerned, excited, lonely, bored, surprised, happy, amused, hyper, vengeful, confused, bitchy, entertained, amused, sleepy, relieved, amazing (in art class…), annoyed, bored, anxious, disappointed, amused, hyper, confused, sad, worried, bored, very amused, tired, sleepy, appreciative, annoyed, sleepy.

From the time I woke up to now.. yep.. bipolar? Very possibly.

love.

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-10-18T21:11:00

2005-10-19T00:58:29Z

Today sucked.. my brain wouldn’t function very well.. couldn’t even do my project in art. That’s not good considering I had a quiz in sch chem. And hon hist. Which r like.. the 2 hardest subjects.. tho history is amazing with cusick, it is hard as hell when it comes to tests/quizzes. N I read what we were assigned, I just cudnt remember nay of it.. ah well

Amazing how much I appretiate my friends… true friends.. n sometimes i wudnt have even guessed that we’d ever become friends… or such close friends..

Was surprised at how happy and relieved I was when I was reassured that joe and I are good… nice surprise tho… im very :-D now.. and debate shud be amazing.

So im so cold its hard to believe im Russian.. im supposed 2 be immune to cold, but I end up being the first one to get cold.. freezing now.

Love.

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-10-17T21:42:00

2005-10-18T01:42:50Z

Day wasn’t too bad, just think im getting sick, was way too tired. Have a slight fever now but nothing too bad. Still, very high possibility that im getting sick cuz I never fully got well from whatever I just had. So.. yeah that sux.
Woke up to “the earth has shifted its tilt on its axis” tho it didn’t really I don’t think but that was weird. Way too much fog, shudve had a delay this morning.
Can’t remember much of today.
Sat with andy and his crazy friends today at lunch. It was really entertaining actually. Im so glad I met him.. so glad I have him by my side.
Had debate, joe didn’t show cuz he had 2 go to the green day concert. That sux. Green day used 2 be good one day.. yeah can u believe it? That was so logn ago.. then they came out with their new album and now they just suck!
Came home and read. A lot. Way too much. And still have a lot left. That sux. Im so tired. School is wearing me out waty too fast this year.
Oh look the time is 9/11… that’s like.. the date I moved into my new house. The 9/11. hey, I think im gonna move again.
Jessica’s moving. :-(
But uhm yeah im beginning to rnat cuz im way too tired so im gonna shut up nd go now.. and look for random songs from the 90’s, like “bitch”, “love me” etc.. idk why im in the mood for that stuff at the moment..
At the moment im in a rly weird mood.
Love.
Ps-sry about all those quizzes.

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-10-16T12:29:00

2005-10-16T16:35:02Z

...so band was actually somewhat entertaining yesterday. (placed second, was confusing b.cuz springboro won all these awards yet they didnt even place n we got second.. idk.)
came back to peace with andrew joe and josh.. tho i must say, i think josh is still confused by it, and joe.. well joe is just joe.
and then stuff with joe hoover but im not going to come to conclusions until i really know what's going on.
talked about religion with jessica, got creeped out again. thats ok. it was fun. i love that girl.
funny when jessica brought me home both my mom and my dad saw me with another guy in the car.. ha, so i wonder what theyve been doing while i was gone...
and that's about it.
love.

got bored so here's like 50 quizzes (perhaps even more..)

You scored as Armand. Your the mysterious type only those close to you know the truth about who you really are

</td>

Armand

100%

Lestat

100%

Marius

92%

Louis

67%

Angel

67%

Deacon Frost

67%

Dracula

67%

Spike

50%

Akasha

33%

Blade

33%

Whose your Vampire personality? (images)
created with QuizFarm.com

My life is rated PG-13.
What is your life rated?

You scored as An eyes woman. You can see the magic in a persons eyes, you can see their soul, you know what they're really thinking, and know if they mean no even if they say yes all from their eyes. Yet they still hold some mystique, and for that means you can look into someone's eyes for a long time.

</td>

An eyes woman

100%

A mouth gall

100%

personality

95%

Abs woman

90%

A chest chick

55%

A butt gall

55%

A crotch person

55%

What are you attracted to in a guy
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Ware wolf. You are crused and hate it. You are full of sorrow and how u are forced to live like this..

</td>

Ware wolf

75%

Vampire

31%

The reaper

25%

Which creature of death are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Take the quiz: "What kind of goth are you? (now with pics)"

Pagan goth
You are a pagan goth. You may follow the religions of the occult, such being as wicca, pagan or another new age religion. You dont take life for granted. You use the life force around you for your everyday needs. And perhaps you dabble in abit of magic from time to time.

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.

</td>

Paganism

88%

Satanism

83%

agnosticism

83%

Buddhism

67%

Hinduism

67%

atheism

54%

Islam

54%

Judaism

42%

Christianity

33%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

its funny that Satanism is #2 here cuz it’s the total oposit of paganism.. and I don’t even believe satan exists.. but ok sure.

You scored as Cute. You're cute. Like a girly girl. And if you're a guy and you got this result, you must be gay. But anyway. Email me at in_the_depths_4ever@yahoo.com

</td>

Cute

70%

Sexy

40%

Ugly

Are you ugly, cute, or sexy?!
created with QuizFarm.com

..also quite hilarious

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.
Shy and private, you yearn for security.
You take relationships slowly.
You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Should Learn Portuguese

Muito legal! For you, learning a language is all about the lifestyle that comes with it.
And Brazilian beaches, hotties, parties, and soccer matches are just your style.

What Language Should You Learn?

Your Hair Should Be Blue

Wild, brilliant, and out of control.
You're a risk taker with an eye to the future.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a tempered, reasonable way of thinking.
You tend to take every new idea in, and meld it with your world view.
For you, everything is always changing. Each moment is different.
Your thinking process tends to be very natural - with no beginnings or endings.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Are The Opposite of Machiavellian

You don't have a cynical, power hungry bone in your body.
Honest and kind, you believe being a good person is the most important thing.
While your upstanding morals should be admired, be careful!
You're at risk for being manipulated and toyed with.

How Machiavellian Are You?

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

How Is Your Inner Child?

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

Your Fortune Is

Beauty is only a light switch away.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Deer

Animal You Were in a Past Life: Panda

You are a fun-seeker - an adventurous, risk-taker.
While you are spontaneous, you are not very rational.

The Animal Personality Test

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Greasy Fortune Teller.

Where You Lived: France.

How You Died: Hung for treason.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

How You Live Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Your Personality Profile

You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.
Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.
You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.

A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.
You are good natured and people enjoy your company.
You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced.
You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

What Your Underwear Says About You

You like to think of yourself as innocent, even though you're not!

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Pimp Name Is...

Pimp Mama Tease

What's Your Pimp Name?

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Veggie Pizza

Upscale and trendy.
You're the most likely to go for a gourmet pizza.
You have impeccable taste in everything.
You truly enjoy the finer things in life.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

You Are Apple Cider

Smooth and comforting. But downright nasty when cold.

What Part of Fall Are You?

except im allergic to it (but not apples!) but ok!

Your Monster Profile

Brutal Ogre

You Feast On: Bananas

You Lurk Around In: Nude Beaches

You Especially Like to Torment: Hippies

What's Your Monster Name?

Your World View

You are a happy, well-balanced person who likes people and is liked by others.
You question whether many conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances.
You are essentially a content person.

Sometimes, you consider yourself a little superior.
You are moral by your own standards.
You believe that morality is what best suits the occasion.

What Is Your World View?

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Techni Wave
Your Superpower is Speaking to Animals
Your Weakness is Sailors
Your Weapon is Your Atomic Army
Your Mode of Transportation is Hang Glider

What's your Superhero Name?

Your Mood Ring is Blue-Green

Inner emotions charged
Yet, somewhat relaxed

Mood Ring Generator

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

You Are 75% Addicted to Blogthings

You lead the pack when it comes to posting Blogthings.
And your friends (mostly) thank you for it.
It's cute that you insist on being called your Japanese name.
Just stop bragging about your IQ score!

How Addicted To Blogthings Are You?

You Are a Schoolgirl!

You're not quite as wild as a "kogyaru", but with your short plaid skirt
and silly white socks, you're still a sexual fetish object.
You can usually be seen hanging out in the girly section of the video game places,
collecting photobooth stickers of you and your friends. You may not be as innocent as you look.
Did those vending machine panties once belong to you?

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

Your Power Color Is Teal

At Your Highest:

You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future.

At Your Lowest:

You feel in a slump and lack creativity.

In Love:

You tend to be many people's ideal partner.

How You're Attractive:

You make people feel confident and accepted.

Your Eternal Question:

"What Impression Am I Giving?"

What's Your Power Color?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

You Are 19 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Your Blog Should Be Red

Your blog is full of intensity and passion.
You are very opinionated - and people love or hate you for it.
You have the potential to be both a famous and infamous blogger.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

You are Agonistic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.
For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.
You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.
And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

You Are Balanced - Believer - Powerful

You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally.
You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go.
Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control.
Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow.

You are a true believer in luck, fate, and karma.
You believe that life is a game of chance - not a game of skill.
You either consider yourself very unlucky or very lucky.
No matter what, you don't feel like you can change the hand you were dealt.

When it comes to who's in charge, it's you.
Life is a kingdom, and you're the grand ruler.
You don't care much about what others think.
But they better care what you think!

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro.
You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's Your Summer Ride?

You Are a Mai Tai

You aren't a big drinker, but you'll drink if the atmosphere is festive.
And when you're drunk, watch out! You're easily carried away.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

You Are 47% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

How American Are You?

Your Summer Anthem is Beverly Hills by Weezer

Where I come from isn't all that great
My automobile is a piece of crap
My fashion sense is a little whack
And my friends are just as screwy as me

Your weird, wacky summer will be better than any summer in the Hamptons!

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

(funny, that was my lj layout all this summer..)

Your True Birth Month Is December

Logical

Patriotic

Ambitious

Not egoistic

Loves praise

Loves to joke

Fun to be with

Not pretending

Loves attention

Short tempered

Hates restrictions

Loves to socialize

Loves to be loved

Loyal and generous

Impatient and hasty

Changing personality

Good sense of humor

Honest and trustworthy

Influential in organizations

Takes high pride in oneself

Active in games and interactions

What's Your True Birth Month?

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal ...

A bit odd and socially isolated.

You couldn't care less of what others think.

And some of your beliefs are a little weird.

Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

You Are 65% Normal

(Really Normal)

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal

You're like most people most of the time

But you've got those quirks that make you endearing

You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

You Are Best Described By...

Impression, Sunrise

By Claude Monet

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

You Are Very Honest

You tell it like it is, no matter what.

Even if the truth hurts, you'll dish it out.

And while some may get hurt by your honesty...

At least everyone knows where you stand!

How Honest Are You?

You Are 80% Psychic

You are so very psychic.

But you already predicted that, didn't you?

You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others.

You're very tapped into the world around you...

Just make sure to use your powers for good!

Are You Psychic?

You Belong in 1970

1970

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Are a Beagle Puppy

Cheerful, energetic, and happy go lucky.
And you're sense of smell is absolutely amazing!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

You are 87% Aquarius

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

You Are Chocolat Orange Pocky

Your attitude: funky and flavorful
Rich and deep - yet zingy and zesty
You are the perfect partner in crime

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

You Are From Uranus

You shine with brilliant creativity, and you're more than a little eccentric.
You love everything unusual and shocking. You're one far-out chick or dude.
Anything unconventional excites you - and you have genius potential.
Just don't let your rebel side get the best of you, or else you'll alienate everyone.
Your original thinking and funky attitude is all you need to be you.

What Planet Are You From?

You Are a Self Help Book!

While your advice is not always welcome...
It's always right on target.

What Crappy Gift Are You?

dude that’s hot.. im reading the virtue of selfishness now, which is aphilosophical book by ayn rand and Nathaniel branden.. *excited*

Your Political Profile

Overall: 20% Conservative, 80% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

American Cities That Best Fit You:

70% San Francisco

65% Washington, DC

55% Chicago

55% Los Angeles

55% New York City

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful.

You show the world what culture really is.

Who's Your Inner European?

You Are In a Decent Mood

You aren't turning cartwheels, but you're having a pretty good day.

Some ups, some downs, but overall you're coming out ahead.

And who knows? Tomorrow could be even better!

What Mood Are You In?

You Should Try Base Jumping

One of the most dangerous extreme sports
Illegal, potentially legal - but totally worth the risk

What Extreme Sport Should You Try?

You are "Shocked"

What Japanese Smiley Are You?

You Should Be Elvis for Halloween!

What should you be for Halloween?

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-10-15T14:53:00

2005-10-15T18:39:33Z

Funny. In a sad kind of way..
Funny how when people are trying to insult someone, they instead end up insulting themselves.
Funny how people are all hypocrites.
Funny how people think they care but then they really don’t.
Funny the opposite.
Funny how the people you prejudicially hate end up being your closest friends in the end.
A good example of this would be scott.
Funny how I was scared to ever talk to Jessica and how now she’s my best friend.
Funny how people ever become friends (getting shoved in a portopottie (Justin, jake), getting spat at (me, josh; cassie, joe), etc).
Funny how people regret when regret won’t really ever fix anything.
Funny how I claim to hate brian yet I still trust him with some stuff.
Funny how trust is so unpredictable.
Prejudice is funny.
Funny how people worship jesus although he’s already dead.
Funny how people will get mad at me for saying that.
Funny how free speech isn’t really free.
Funny how I could just go on and on..
Funny that for once I won’t.
Funny? No, not really...
Life is funny. In a sad kind of way..

ah, people can be so annoyign at times..

2005-10-14T19:45:24Z

so i was thinking yet again..
abotu life.
there really isnt a point to life..
it is so monotonous.
everyday its the same thing.
you go to school, come home, sleep. go to school, come home, sleep.
then when you grow up
you go to work, come home, sleep. go to work, come home, sleep.
and maybe you'll do something every once in a while.
but that's pretty much it.

love.

2knomeis2hateme @ 2005-10-14T14:45:00

2005-10-14T18:33:38Z

so i just wrote ami a rant in her xanga so uhm... here it is bcuz it explains a lot..

ok by "wat happened" im assuming ur talking about me n tony right? well if im wrong i gues ull jsut have to hear abotu it anyway cuz here it is.. well... i gues it all started when kathy got mad at him for not goign to dinner with them. so i defended him and kathy got mad at me and now she hates me. so elizabeth randomly decided she was gonna hate me too. she started telling joe and tony that i been sayign shit abotu them behind their back. well theres somethign wrong with that.. number 1: elizabeth has only been around me 2 times. once at lunch ,and that day i didnt say a single word, and someone (i think it was even her) commented that i dont talk. then i saw her one more time after the inschool pep rally and all i said about tony then was that i was sad bcuz it seemed that he was ignoring me cuz he seemed fine with everyoen else just not ever talkign to me. and that.. is nothign bad about him. and i honestly cnat ever say anythign bad about him bcuz theres nothig bad i cna find abotu him. same with joe. then the other day at lunch tony was showing kathy the lyrics to ghosts that joe wrote, i been working on the music for it. well with the music i wrote, i had to take out 2 irrelevant words. joe originally had it as "all these memories flew by, they went so fast" i made it "All these memories flew by so fast" and joe was fine with it. he thought wat i did was perfect. and i showed it 2 tony the day b4 and he was fine with it too. then kathy started throwing a fit abotu it (shes not even in the band! if anyone has a say it shud be joe cuz he wrote the song and he already had a say and he said it was amazing!) and so tony threw a fit baotu it too. and so now when i was talkign to him. it seemed as if he was trying to find reasons to hate me. becuz when he told me why he was mad at me.. it was a bunch of bullshit. and im thinking its becuz kathy and elizabeth are holding a lot of influence over him. he said hes pissed at me bcuz i over react to things and get offended easily. so ok, i dont get offended easily. i may act like im offended, but im jsut messing around.. perhaps he mistook my joking around for reality. then he said hes mad at me becuz apparently im making a huge deal abotu jackie being bi. i made absolutely NO DEAL abotu it bcuz my best friend is a lesbian so i have no problem with gay ppl. then he said he doesnt want to be my friend bcuz i have issues with all his other friends. well by saying "All" he is way overexagerating bcuz the only ppl that have issues with me are kathy and elizabeth. and i had no issues with them until they began saying shit baotu me and randomly getting pissed for no good reason. so rly its them that are having issues with me rather than me having issues with them. and then he said iwas clingy and wudnt let him have any time on his own. well lets think abotu this.. the only time i ever see him is aat lunch ,and then he ends up either askign me if i wanna go to the piano room or he tells me that he has math to do.. so.. how does that make me clingy? though i do agree that i can get clingy at times with new friends bcuz i dont trust that they really consider me as their friend that theyre ust being nice to me. but honestly.. i never clung to tony.. so idk wat the hell is up. and the more i think abotu this .the more i think its kathy and elizabeth and maybe lindsay that are trying to make tony hate me and hes fallen under his influence and.. thats it. and so tahts all he told me so far bcuz he never got done with making his list of why he hates me as he had to get offline (and i was on express so it took a while). i feel stupid tho bcuz i agreed with him when he told me i was clingy bcuz i didnt rly think abotu it at the time. i knew i might get clingy sometimes but now that i thought abotu it.. i never was with him. and ahh! idk wat to do. and so sorry about all this.. this is a lot.

love.